Occasional hoots and whistles, clinking of champagne glasses, excited murmurings—the revellers present at The Mastercard Theatres were certainly ready to meet the internationally-acclaimed Crazy Girls from the French cabaret Crazy Horse!

The sheer anticipation for this Forever Crazy revue probably has to do with an interesting fact shared by the tour director Mark Brady: The entire risqué production was not censored (gasp!) by IMDA. Tough luck there, Les Misérables fans!

God Save Our Bareskin was the tongue-in-cheek title of the opening act featuring the Crazy Girls donning the iconic bearskin and accessories like a collar, epaulettes, belt, and military boots inspired by the Queen’s Guard. Crazy Horse added their signature touch with swishy tassels reminiscent of horses’ tails—a familiar attribute proudly flaunted by the Crazy Girls in many of their later acts.

Although I admit to being rather ignorant in this aspect, the majestic display of synchronisation quickly got me immersed. In no time at all, I was tapping my feet along to the beat and cheering the girls on together with the audience.

We were still marveling at the cuteness of the Crazy Girls’ salutes when the spotlight shone on a pair of hands at the side curtains. As the owner of the pair of hands stepped out onto the stage, I almost fell off my seat because it was, unexpectedly, a man! Guest artist Mr Fantastic (Robert Muraine) embodied the pinnacle of human flexibility with a popping dance performance. His sense of humour is lit so do not, I repeat, do not miss out on how adept he is, be it with combs or comedic interaction with members of the audience!

The timeless beauty of the Crazy Girls spurred me to do a little research into the stringent physical requirements set forth 66 years ago by Alain Bernardin, the founder of Crazy Horse Paris founder. Only the crème de la crème qualifies—potential Crazy Girls must be between 1.68m and 1.72m tall; the distance between the tips of their breasts must be exactly 21cm and that between their belly button and their pubis, 13cm.

Such exacting standards translate into the ultimate visual harmony on stage, but it could turn into a double-edged sword when execution delays occur during a synchronised act. These slip-ups were especially glaring (at least to me), but inevitable—the Crazy Girls are only human after all, and we definitely wouldn’t have it any other way!

Indeed, the remarkability of every Crazy Horse routine stems from knowing that the dancers are dressed in nothing more than strategically placed coloured lights; their bodies serving as the perfect blank canvas for aesthetically pleasing designs. Aided by mirrors at times, this artful union results in breathtakingly tasteful presentations that would, undoubtedly, enthral generations to come.

Snag your tickets here to celebrate the testament to the glorious feminine form and beauty from now till 22 October 2017!

Photos courtesy of Riccardo Tinelli & Antoine Poupel